Can't Help Yourself
by InkyCoffee
Summary: '"Kate?" She had never heard him sound so hesitant. "What's going on? Are you on your way back?" "I'm still here. I'm not done. I can't… Kate, I can't do this." He sounded on the verge of panic.' Castle calls his wife for... assistance. Post Season 8 phone sex. Written for the Pornado, and for Anja. One shot. Complete.


**A/N: About 6(ish?) weeks early but HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANJA. Special thanks to Joan for the beta and Katherine for patting me on the head. Written for both Anja and the Pornado.**

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She was listening to Ryan and Esposito briefing her on where they were at with their latest case when her phone rang. She held up a finger to get the boys to pause their narrative when she saw her husband's face flash across the screen.

"Sorry, guys, I have to take this one. Should be quick," she said before swiping to answer, foregoing her usual barked greeting and launching straight into speech. "Done already? I told you it would take no time at all."

There was a long pause, long enough for her to hear the boys' whispered conversation.

("Where is he today anyway?" "Fertility clinic, remember?" "So he is literally jacking into a cup right now? Dude. Gross.")

She glared at them, and was about to signal for them to leave when her husband's voice finally came across the line.

"Kate?"

She had never heard him sound so hesitant."What's going on? Are you on your way back?"

"I'm still here. I'm not done. I can't… Kate, I can't do this." He sounded on the verge of panic.

"What's the matter?" she asked, confused.

"I just… there's so much riding on this, you know? And they gave me a cup and sent me into a tiny room with a chair I don't think I want to sit on given what this room gets used for and a table with a handful of dirty magazines that I don't even want to touch let alone use to… you know… and all I can think about is how if I mess this up we maybe don't get to have a family and this room doesn't make me feel sexy, it just makes me want to take a shower." His words came in a rush, full of discomfort, and when he paused to draw breath, she made a snap decision.

Covering the mouthpiece, she indicated to the door. "We'll finish this later," she said, glaring at the boys until they got the hint. Esposito stopped guffawing, and she was pleased to see Ryan clipping his partner over the head for his immaturity. Once the door was closed behind them, she turned her full attention to the phone.

"You don't have to give them the sample today, Castle," she began, but he cut her off.

"Yes, I do. It's probably stupid, but… one of the nurses recognized me. I don't want to go out there empty-handed because I'm not enough of a man to get the job done. Not in front of a fan. It would be so ignominious."

She almost growled. "First of all, you and I both know you have nothing to prove in that department."

"I know, but still. What do I do, Kate?"

She chewed her bottom lip, thinking. The desk in front of her was littered with papers, her computer monitor had half a dozen post-its stuck around the edges to remind her of meetings she needed to attend and tasks she had to perform. There were several dozen phone calls to make, and a whole precinct to keep an eye on. She really didn't have time for this… except this was her husband. Her partner, in crime and in life, and he needed her.

Sighing, she pushed away from the desk and closed the blinds to block out the hustle and bustle of the bullpen before dropping on the sofa on the far side of the room. Might as well be comfortable for this.

"Close your eyes," she said gently.

"Wh-what?" he stammered.

"Close your eyes," she commanded again, and took a deep breath. "Actually, no, wait, put your phone on speaker, and then close your eyes. Stay standing, though, if that chair makes you uncomfortable. You ready?" She waited, and a moment later the sound quality changed and she heard him heave a deep sigh, as if preparing for something unpleasant.

"As I'll ever be."

"Good. Think about what you'll do after this, when you get home. You said you wanted to take a shower?"

"Uh huh," came the disgruntled reply.

"Okay, good. Let's work with that. You get home, you head straight for our room and strip off your clothes. You turn the shower on and brush your teeth while you wait for it to heat up, just like you always do."

"Beckett…" he began, but she stopped him.

"Just go with it, Babe. So, you open the shower door and steam starts pouring out around you, just the way you like it, so you step under the spray and adjust the nozzles, and mutter under your breath about your wife changing the settings every time." She grinned as he huffed.

"How did you kno- I mean, what makes you think I would do such a thing?" He was trying a little too hard to sound innocent, and she narrowed her eyes even though he couldn't see her expression.

"You're not as subtle as you think, Castle," she replied, before slipping back into what she knew to be a laughable imitation of his 'storyteller voice'. "The water is just a little too hot, so you turn it down and stick your head under it for a moment, then you stand there and let it pound against your chest for a few moments. The pressure is strong, and already you can feel your entire day washing away. Are you feeling more relaxed?"

"A bit," he mumbled, but his voice had lost the misery and panic, so she continued.

"So you're standing under the spray and contemplating reaching for the soap when you catch a movement out of the corner of your eye. A very familiar figure has entered the bathroom and is stripping off quickly. The shower door opens again, and a moment later you feel my arms sliding around you from behind."

"Surprise!" he murmured under his breath, and she could hear his delighted smile at the turn this was taking, which emboldened her to continue.

"I kiss you between your shoulder blades and then snuggle in close. You can feel my boobs pressed up against your back and my hips nudging your butt. I have my hands resting on your stomach and you drop yours to cover mine. Your fingers scoot along mine because you're never totally still, but we both take time to enjoy the moment before it goes any further."

"So it is going further?" How did he manage to wiggle his eyebrows in his tone of voice?

"Only if you're patient," she teased. "Where was I?"

"Your boobs were pressed against my back," he replied instantly, eagerly.

"Of course that's the part you remember." She rolled her eyes, but she could feel the corners of her mouth twitching at her loveable goofball of a husband. "So since we've already broken the mood, I ask you to pass me the soap. You put it in my hands, and with my arms still around you I lather up and start with your chest, running my hands in circles down to your hips and back again. Then I have to step back from where I was pressed up against you to do your arms, and then your back. I'm taking my time to make sure I get every ridge and plane."

"It's okay, Beckett. You can say 'every fold and roll.' I can take it."

"Shush. Don't disparage my ruggedly handsome husband like that. Especially his back muscles, which happen to be exceptionally sexy to me."

"My apologies. Do continue."

"I intend to, because the next place I get to touch is your butt. And I really like touching your butt. It doesn't necessarily need a lot of soaping up, but I do pause to give it a good squeeze, mostly because it's cute. And hot. God, I love your ass." She heard her own voice go deeper, and she cleared her throat, shifting a little on the couch as she felt her blood begin to hum.

"Uh… Kate?" His voice was starting to sound strained again, but this time it was for the right reasons.

"It's okay to start touching yourself any time you're ready to, Babe. That's kind of the point of this exercise. I'm just lending a little inspiration." Evidently he had been waiting for her permission, because a moment later she heard the muffled sound of his zipper lowering, and she shuffled again in her seat. God, she wished she could be there to do this in person.

"You always inspire me." He had that slightly dopey, awe-filled, lovestruck voice going on, and she wriggled, unconsciously attempting to soothe the heat pooling in her stomach.

"So when I'm finally done with your butt, for now at least, I re-lather and start going down the backs of your legs. Thighs first, then I brace myself against your hips so I can kneel to reach your calves. I do your feet, then shuffle around in front of you on my hands and knees, inadvertently giving you quite a show. I'm now kneeling in front of you with the water pouring over my back and shoulders."

"Gorgeous," he murmured.

She felt her face heat up as she continued. "Then it's back up your legs, up over your knees and thighs. I work up a final lather, so that I can wash your dick. Is it ready for me?"

"Standing at attention and awaiting orders," he replied. She could just picture his cocky grin.

"Good. I take it in both my hands and give it a single, firm stroke. This one's really about spreading the soap, and making sure you're warmed up. You feel hard and smooth, and it's an easy glide." She lost herself in her narrative, in remembering the weight and feel of her husband's body under her hands. "I love touching your cock like this. I never get tired of it. The water is still mostly aimed at your chest as well as my back so almost right away the soap starts rinsing off, but we both know it won't be needed any more. I run my fingers over your balls when I get to the base, and then ease back and look up at you to make sure you're still with me."

"Oh, I am definitely still with you."

"Okay. So I could just go down on you right away…" She fought the fiendish giggle that bubbled up at the sound of his groan. She had always known he loved dirty talk from her, but she had never taken the lead in this kind of conversation, words being more his forte. "...But where's the fun in that? Instead, I slide one finger down your cock, then back up the underside where it's super sensitive. Then I wrap my thumb and forefinger around the tip, and slide it down about an inch, then pause and slide it back up again."

This time he growled and she really did giggle.

"Then I take pity on you, and wrap one hand around you properly, and start stroking. The first few are slow and firm and even, tip to base and back up again. Then I add a little squeeze and a twist, just to mix things up, then go back to smooth, long strokes." She paused for a moment, listening to the sound of his breathing coming in pants in time with her words and his movements. "Then my tongue darts out and licks the tip."

His breathing hitched, and she grinned.

"I swirl my tongue all the way around you before opening my lips and taking you into my mouth, sliding my lips and teeth down your shaft. I look up at you as I take you into the back of my throat - the great thing about this being fantasy is that I can take you as deep and as long as you want to go, and you don't need to worry about gagging or breathing or whether I'm enjoying this, like you usually do. That's really sweet, but this time you can just go for it. My mouth is warm and wet, and my tongue swirls as I work my mouth up and down on you. My head is bobbing but I'm maintaining eye contact whenever I can to show you how much I'm enjoying this. My hands reach for your balls and you let yourself go and start fucking my mouth, really pounding it, angling my head just right with your hands."

His breathing was ragged now, hitching with effort, and his voice was hoarse. "Kate..."

"Grab the cup, Castle. That's my throat. I want you to come in my mouth, Castle. I want to swallow every drop. Can you do that for me?"

She waited, listening to the faint rhythmic rustle of movement at the end of the line, then she was rewarded with the grunt and pant of his release. "Kate!" he cried, and a few moments later the line went quiet.

"Castle? Still with me, Babe?" she asked as the silence stretched.

He huffed a laugh over the line. "I'm here. Damn, Kate."

"You okay? Did you get the sample?" She bit her lip, hoping.

He still sounded a little dazed. She didn't blame him, really. "Yes. You are incredible."

She smiled. "You're not so bad yourself, Babe."

"When you get home tonight we're going to reenact this, only I'm going to tweak the narrative." His voice held the low rumble of promise.

"Yeah?" she asked, breathless.

"Yeah. My hot wife deserves to be shown just how much I appreciate her help today."

She felt her face flush, and, aware once again of her surroundings, pushed herself up from the sofa. "Your wife is looking forward to it. But I really have to get back to work now, or else I won't get to go home to you."

He always read her moods so well. "Want me to swing by with lunch?"

"Sure. Bring some for the boys? Their case has hit a wall." She opened her office blinds and surveyed the bullpen. The usual bustle greeted her, with no obvious signs that her direct supervision had been needed in the past few minutes.

"Will do. And Kate?" His voice made her pause before she could sit down at her desk.

"Yeah?"

"I love you. And not just because you initiated phone sex with me at work." His glee made her grin as she sat down again, ready to battle the mountain of paperwork before her.

"I love you, too. See you soon, Babe," she said, and ended the call.


End file.
